aku melihat beberapa orang menangis,,karena tak terima atas apa yang KAU kehendaki atas mereka..

sungguh mengherankan!!

aku juga mendengar banyak orang yang mengeluh atas ketidakadilan takdir yang KAU tulis dijalan yang mereka lalui..

sangat menggelikan!!

aku bahkan merasa terkadang akalku memberontak terhadap keputusan yang KAU tetapkan..

celakanya aku...

KAU sering memarahi aku,...

tapi marahMU tak pernah menyakitiku,

aku bahagia..karena marahMU makin membuatku mengenal CINTA lebih jauh...

setelah KAU marahi bodohku lalu KAU tersenyum..

senyumanMU justru semakin membuatku tergila-gila padaMU...

KAU telah pernah membunuhku...

membuatku merasakan kematian,

namun setelah aku KAU bangkitkan lagi,

aku justru bisa lebih mengenal lebih jauh siapa diriku..

KAU sering membuat aku menangis...

karena setelah tangisan-tangisan itu aku semakin menyadari kesalahan-kesalahan aku..

dan aku akhirnya tahu apa yang selanjutnya harus kuperbuat.

KAU juga sering membohongi aku..

tapi aku merasa bahagia setelah KAU bohongi aku...

karna di balik kebohongan itu ada keselamatan untuk aku..

KAU telah membutakan mata ku..

tapi kini hati ini bisa melihat lebih jelas,,

jadi tahu mana aku dan mana aku

KAU telah hancurkan semua angan-angan ku,

tapi kini aku tak lagi menjadi permainan angan-angan semu..

KAU telah merusak semua rencana-rencana yang sejak dulu kumiliki...

tapi aku tak mungkin merajuk,,

karena kini KAU ganti semua dengan rencana yang jauh lebih baik,,,

semua yang KAU tetapkan begitu sempurna...

lalu mengapa akalku sempat bersangka buruk terhadapMU??...

aaah...aku tahu....

pasti karena aku lalai dari-MU...

JELATANG

recently being bz with exams and tasks..

herm..came across one of friends' link,

and i think it is beneficial for us to always remind ourselves bout this..

to lower our ego and try to be humble as we are just a normal human being..

something good to share i guess..=)

ive linked the video here (ego and Islam...) its from youtube anyway..

theres a lot of videos and lectures from this ustaz nouman Ali khan so, please feel free to browse around..hehe.

Sayyedah,i MISS you SOO MUCH~

hehehe

have a look at this

ask,if u have any doubts or question.
ceh.cakap mcm pandai ngat nk menjawab kan kan.

Second part of this monday mourning here will updates u with the current situation in moscow and other parts in Russia. 3 days after the attack,Russian took revenge on muslims with hijab. They smacked almost currently 5 females in metro, and cops had done thorough checking on muslims handbags. Pathetically,most of them were seriously avoiding muslims and treating us like shit. Stares at us as they are seeing morons walking with guns and bombs all the time.
Yesterday,there were another 2 reports on bombing attack at south of Russia and north Caucasus. ---> this is where all the wars took place at the beginning. Based on UEA fact finding mission that ive read, there were times where Russian attacks Georgia for 5 days and had caused serious destruction, reaching levels of utter devastation in a number of towns and villages. But,the fighting didnt end the political war nor were any of the issues that lay beneath is resolved. It is totally a human tragedy..sad records of killing and other losses,intense suffering..with hopes and dreams that were shattered..Actions of revenge keeps coming..but..in a close look at the peoples motives,we shall understand their aspiration,even when we are not able to accept the means.
It was reported that the suicide bomber that bombs moscow train last monday had lost her family during the late war..and they were not exactly a muslim. They were said to be followers of one suffiism concept. Something that they called as Wahhabism. They were taught to do the sacrifical offerings and as for them, Muslims or christian that refuses this concept were should to be put to death. Back to the bombing attacks,those that happened in south Caucasus recently was said to be done by Chechen's militant. And at the same time, Russian attacked Dagestan, one village occupied by Muslims. This news,however was kept LOW and slow. Which is totally unfair. They are really playing with the politics..adding the mutual mistrust,hates,and rage of hatred towards Muslim...

suicide bomber in moscow..it happened ystrday morning.
some says it was just a political game created by vladivimir putin due to his reducing number of voters...
others say that it was another propaganda created by US or may be UK..just to create havoc.to have fun.i bet there will be another new video of Bin Laden coming out soon after this incident.heh.
the worst part is,most of them say it was made by MUSLIM terrorist..
MUSLIM..
well..the real thing is,the suicide bombers were identified as Chechen females.n, they were proclaimed as muslims.yeah.they can proclaim anything,but no one will ever know the truth. things are getting worst here.But this is not the first time for Russia to face this kind of situation. They had the same thing in late 2002. 2004..and recently last year at St.Petersburgh. Russians are really looking forward to take revenge on all muslims.

But,honestly speaking..they should have blame themselves. Based on one documentary ive read, Russians had once attack Chechnya and killed almost all of the muslims there. Im not saying that this is the real cause of the incident that just happened, but things like this might induce hatred in every human kind,to be exact,the chechen.

Russians..they are really proud of themselves.their cultures,language,knowledge..but despite all, they still feel disturbed by muslims. its funny though,since 'only the best competitors can makes u feel insecure'.

I have nothing more to say bout this. Shit happened.
But, personally i feel bad for innocent surveillance that was killed.
And..im very sure that life will be tougher here for us,as a muslim especially for those who wears hijab..

first week at moscow makes me feel sick.hahah.maybe its too obvious and stupid to feel that way at this age.but,anyway,im surrounded by younger friends here,so terpaksalah berlagak macho.hahah.
anyway,moscow still blessedly showered by thick ice and snow.not like what i expected to be. =( First time went out for a shop and settling all the bills je dah buatkan kaki cramp+beku rase nak patah.oh.skin saya sungguh melayu.and my russian vocabs yang sikit tu pun memang berkepuk and macam dah los and faun.memang tak hengat langsung.luckily i bought one russian book yang kecik and sangat handdyy...tadi g kedai makan pun dengan banggenye gunakan buku tu to communicate. muke bangge tak hengat bile mintak sudu.tapi dalam hati,tuhan je tau ketaq lutut gugur jantung sume.alhamdulillah jugak la ngan berkat sungguh2 (chewah) n berkat muke blagak yg ditonjolkan,org yg amek order tu faham.hahaha at least tak malu sangat okayy..
anyway,there is no other better place than home...still i miss malaysia..and the hectic that i have to handle while im in malaysia.rasa macam kalah YB.bila kat sini,feels like a loser.urghh.
tatau nak cakap camana..but i miss my family.rindu nak kena kacau pagi2 dengan panggilan2 kakak sulung,kakak kedua n abangku sayang.nasib baik ada 4 orang adik beradik je.kalau tak sure dah kena hire sorang operator nak suh angkatkan call.sangat annoying call pagi2 buta tanya nak kuar mana2 tak and berebut2 ajak lepak sekali.oh terasa macam public figure.hahaah.rindu dengan beela bila dia balik sekolah,datang lari2 cari cakap "la tau ashu ade kat rumah sebab la tgk sliper ashu ade kat depan.yeay!" .sungguh terharu bile di stalk oleh anak buah sendiri. T_T sangatlah comel makhluk kecil tu.rindu jugak dengan soalan mak sendiri tiap2 pagi 'harini kluar g mana?'.rindu dengan ke-pack-an and ke-busy-an kene susun schedule imbangkan antara family ngan minat sendiri yg suke g hutan.huhu.i miss everything in malaysia.sedih.okay.dah tatau nak tulis ape dah.
eh lagi satu..lupe lak.orang malaysia,jangan belagak sebab cuti CNY k.sini pun ktorang cuti jugak eventho sehari je.tapi kire cuti ah gak.bangge!

yeah.im going back in just a few hours more.
eheheh
hati sangat berbunga2.
biar bepeluh beribu2 gelen.tp mesia tetap indah dan mekar.
walaupun politik mesia serupa tahi,
tapi tetap aku bli tiket balik mesia.
hehehehheheheheheheheh

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/1/2/nation/5403562&sec=nation

i was treated as an immigrant as well here in moscow.
and i understood well enough why they treated us that way.
simply because there are certain immigrants that pooped shit on others country they went to.
and put the mark on other innocent immigrant.
fucking moron.
fuck off all the indons and dickhead immigrants.
u r making us look terrible.
pardon me if u r halfly or fully indons blooded.
but yeah.most of u r just sooo fucking bastard till u can even think of selling babies.

fuck of.shit head.

go fuck urself in ur fucking country.

idiotic people shouldnt be given a chance to live.

fuck u.

k.nih recap 2009.
letak gamba je ah.malas la nak type.
sorry ah.nk cakap pon malas,nk type pon malas.
ala.lagipon picture holds a thousand words
=)

k.start with bulan january 2009.
g praktikal kat HSJ,penang.
ni zaman kegemilangan.sbb sayedah jaga.
biaselah.kalau lesbian partner yang jage mmg tip top ah,.okeh.gemok kan?
rase mcm bloating.babi btol.
sorry sayang.this is the only picture that i can find.

k.bulan dua,praktikal abes.ni lah lesbian partner saya shidop semati


ye.inilah pilihan hati.rindu gile ah.emo pulak.
and baby tu sangat comel.rasa macam nak pijak.

okeh.dalam bulan 2 gak,balik2 from praktikal,kelab kembiri buat lawatan sambil belajar kat gunung irau brinchang.tmpt nice gile.weather sedap gle.tp kat peak,tak brape nice ah.tade water source.kene tahan berak.kalau boleh ikat je rectum tu.

okeh.lebih2 plak letak gamba neh.ahaha.seronok lebih.poyo.diam ah.,

ok2.bulan 3 tade pe ngat jadi.
looser.duk umah je.then ade ah climb and g perting.


okeh.bulan 4 saye grad.yer.grad pastu tak amek gamba kat studio tu sbb ramai org.
alasan kukuh.malas nk bdiri panjang2 bpeluh2 tunggu.
i dont know y,i hate my degree.hahaha
sbnanyer tak suke function2 camtu.
nnt ble2 bley je g studio amek gamba dlm studio tu.
pakai baju grad mane2 rembat je ah.
pastu pakai topi koboi.ooopss sory fami.sblm aku mati nnt aku mntk maf lagi.
hahahahahagamba sendiri pakai jubah tu pon tadek.ade gamba bunge je.
balik nanti nk pnjm jubah mak sendiri then amek gamba pegang bunga orkid kat lua.
grad ah tu kire.
ok.

bulan 5 tade pe jadi.ade g camping je ah kot ngn climb.owh.ade2.baru ingat.hahaha
g lepuk ngn abg yen.buat water absailing.ataupun canyoning.
ble disuruh turun from air terjun tu tp mngadap batu bata,aku ckp takut la abg yen
tanak la.tak jadi.
tape saye turun ikut jalan tanah.
takpe la abg yen.takut.
tapi aku tak sedar yg aku still turun ikut tali.wtf.
hahaha.tp best gile.layankan ajee...


tipu ah tu mase canyoning ade org nak amek gamba.
sumorang pon tgh cuak time tu kot.
ni gamba hiasan je.tp tmpt yg same ah.

ok.bulan 6 ade seketul bayi bulat jadi new member of our family.sumpah seketul.tgk gamba ni
jap2.name die irisha marini.dont ask me bout marini tu.tu name adik bradik die.

bulat kan? kalau tegolek dari atas bukit mesti sekejap je dah smp bawah.
pipi die tu memang untuk digigit.

ok.bulan 7 tak igt pape.mungkin time tu ade problem shot term memory.tah la.
kene pukul kat kpale kot ade blood clot kat kpale.kacau nerve.
pape ah.

bulan 8 lak dah kecoh2 nk g rusia.kecoh2 je.tap tak g pon lagi.smp bulan 9.
k.ni gamba before g.byk sket ah.skang tgh emo rase nk balik mesia.
padahal lg 4 hari lg aku balik la mesia.bwahahaha.
tak sabar.babi ah prsaan ni.
starting ngn gamba sedih ni.

tgk budak yg bdiri kt tpi pintu tu.muke sempoi habeh.tade prasaan.
hahaha.
sblm berangkat pergi kena la cium tangan puan guru besar.mintak restu.
diwajibkan berada di bawah ketiak abang kandung selama bebarapa minit supaya tak cari ketiak org lain untuk berpaut bile di tempat orang.

ok.malas dah la nak letak gamba2.ni gamba kt moscow sampai skang.

adik2 berusaha membuat suprise birthday celebration.
rasa sgt teharu n malu.sbb slame ni punyelah kaver macho.
tbe2 layan se suwit camni.
rasa mcm nak jadi princess.
gah.



another birthday celebration ditaja oleh rakan sebaya.
ive been to this japanese restaurant twice for my birthday clbration.
1st ngn amil n kuzie,plus roomate.2nd time ngn kawan baru.hahahaha
rasa btol sgt teharu.n cdt to en.nordee nerdy sbb bagi roses walaupun jauh beribu batu dan lautan. ;_)
its a bit weird gak la sbnanye bile org buat sungguh2 mase birthday aku
kalau kt mesia,mak sndiri akan bagi duit then ckp :hah.meh nk mtk tlg sket.tlg belikan kek.harini trasa mcm nak makan kek.(sambil ketawa kecil tutup2 mulut)
smp kat kedai kek je org tu tanye nk tulis ape.
bile kol mak sndr then tanye nk tulis ape,die ckp 'suh die tulis happy birthday mastura'
wtf.pfffttttt.mastura tu aku kot.im buying my own self a cake.nice one.
anyway,last2 tak jadi bli kek.duit tu dirembat sbb alasan birthday girl sndr tak suke makan kek.so takyah beli kek.hambek.ok.ni gamba luar bilik mase tgh autumn.skang ni tade hijau2 dah.sume putih.rasa mcm duduk kat syurga.
bleurgh.
tak best pon duk sini.nk kuar pon kena pakai baju pelampung.

ok.dah.ni first entry on the 1st day of 2010,pada umo 24.the first entry gak yg pnjg gle ngn gamba yg banyak.1st entry gak yg buat aku tak mandi2 pagi lagi walaupon dah pkol 3ptg.
ok.achievement.

bye 2009.im heading to the bathroom now.

sumorang pon nak wish happy new year kat sumorang.
so,yeah.happy new year jugak pade diri sendiri.
wth.im 24 this year.
im not happy.im not dissapointed.
but im scared.24 beb,but i still dont have anything in my hand that i can be proud of.
tade ape2 achievement pon buat mase neh.
it scares me to the hell.
i really need to put more effort on life.
i do have plans.
but ive planned ahead.not only for each year
but for the future.
and sekarang ni,what can i say is,im still preparing.
preparing for the future.yer.the time has not come yet
macam assasin ah.ade baik pny plan,tp die buat ble timing btol2 sampai.
yeah.im still preparing.this is not just a reason

anyway,what had happened in 2009?

banyak gile.

and alhamdulillah,im still on the right track.
still on the road i chose to be.

hah.emo.feeling plak tulis entry neh.demmit.ni sme sbb tgh dnga lagu creed,lullaby.
anyway,great welcome for 2010.
happy new year mates.



bye.